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The eKubator Project

Lloyd's Movie Reviews…
October 5, 2001
{Author: eBerg Staff}



Lloyd is back, and as poignant as ever. This week he raves on about moose hunting and the Blair Witch, Jennifer Lopez and waking up drunk in the neighbour's car. Not a positive review to be found among the recent rentals, and no shortage of unintelligible criticism. …






Blair Witch II - Book of Shadows


"Book of Foolishness oh man. Boys gone off looking for witches with more cameras than a boatload of tourists whalewatching. Nothing made no sense, and me head went spinning with all this foolishness. The boys goes out in the woods and goes mad drinking and loses all their equipment. Big deal, that happens every fall when we goes moose hunting. No one made a movie about us up at 24A gone hunting."








The Cell


Oh man, nothing wrong with that Lopez woman. Sweet honorable. Jarv come over and his heart was going like a boron lookin' at 'er - had him running off for his glycerine pills. Anyways, the movie had the wicked effects, 'specially when the horse got quartered. What a rig! Imagine putting a moose in that. No mess whatsoever. Anyway, the movie was a bit sick but lots on the go to fill your eyeballs. Especially that Lopez missus. Oh man, she can … (edited for content.)







Dude, Where's My Car?


Two fools gets on a bender and can't remember a bloody thing. My prostrate examination was more funny. Reminds of the time me and Jarv got on the rum doggies on Saturday. Jarv after forgetting he gotta take collection the next day. Fell asleep in some fella's car on account of not being able to walk home. And he lives next door. Woke up when buddy sat on his head. Went to church with a big imprint of the steering wheel on his head. Oh man, I bust a gut. Remind me of another stupid movie I saw. Scarlet Letter, with that skeletal witch wasername. Did that ever suck up a storm. Oh, Jarv gets in some awful states. He should star in his own feature film, Dude Where's My Punt? Boys, seriously you gotta get me some good movies. I'm dying out here